Broadcaster:

We are coming to you tonight from Beirut, Lebanon, a country that was once the Nigeria of the Levant. We are talking with people on the street, actually Hamra Street, about the shocking news released today. What we want to know is:

What does Lebanon need to recover its former glory?

What kind of leader will have the experience to overcome government mismanagement and bring new standards of efficiency and effectiveness?

How will any leader manage the quagmire of Lebanon’s domestic and regional political challenges?

Who is this leader – a visionary, wizard, competitor, and deal-maker par excellence? The world wants to know…

BREAKING NEWS:

Press Release
(Sin el Fil) From the Headquarters of the Free Patriotic Movement (FPM)

After more than 15 years of great success as the leading Christian party and coalition builder in Lebanon, the FPM finds itself in distress. The elections are only a year away, and the polls are showing erosion of support for the party. Even the esteemed founders and leaders are facing challenges in their districts.

Aware that when His August General Michel Aoun founded this party in 2005, our success was due to a detailed political program of economic and political reform plans, none of which has been realized. So rather than repeat these promises, we need a new formula for success – more promises, more tahini, more khobz in every furn, and less discussion about human rights and bank transfers.

Today the world is different, there are fewer Lebanese Christians voting here and overseas. We don’t know their problems, so what can we do? WE WILL STOP DEPENDING ON OTHERS TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS!

We have reached deep into the heart of Lebanon for answers and today are pleased to announce a new leader for the FPM, Carlos Ghosn, well-known to all of you as a great business leader, innovator, escape artist, and true Lebanese with a global stature who commands the attention of authorities all over the world.

We are so excited by his agreement, that we are petitioning the current president to step down so that Parliament can elect Mr. Ghosn immediately to replace him. Who better understands the demands of building a successful entity? Who has more experience in building mergers and partnerships among competitors? Who is a mastermind of financial transactions that protect one’s wealth while serving a bottom line?

CARLOS GHOSN, that’s who. HE is Lebanon’s future, not part of its past. Just as Rafic Hariri presided over Lebanon’s first renaissance, President Ghosn, with his partners, the Prime Minister and Speaker, will bring Lebanon from one brink, of despair, to another brink, of success. That’s his promise. And you can take that to the bank…

And, as President, he will have immunity while in office…which could be a very long time.

Viva Lebanon.

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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the American Task Force on Lebanon.